第六期诗会——The Thorn Bird In The Rain（雨中荆棘鸟）

blauelilie

The Thorn Bird In The Rain

Thanks to the rain. Were not there rain falling, my tears could have betrayed my tolerance. Now I can walk, in the rain, while crying voicelessly and unnoticably.

That day, I saw a little girl accompanying her mom. She seemed to be delighted to go out seeing so much, her voice bouncing happiness, her eyes shining. Years before, I must have been like her. How time flies before I know it.

I remember that day. After a year blan,, I encountered quite a lot to get a new start from zero ( if not minus ). It was not easy. It took me only one month to get offers 6 years ago, one of which from a nameful group company after I sent out my first resume. It took me also a month to get offers 2 years ago after a year blank, but from a 5-person little firm. Then another two months to get another two offers, both from dispath companies, which type of company I'm so reluctant to work for. But, being feminine, over 30, foreigner (especially Chinese), a year blank, all these contributed to my fate of being a dispatched worker. What's worse, the diplomatic relationship between Japan and China had gone even worse during that period, which had worsened my situation.

I was rejected by several projects because of my nationality. As I could not be sent out to earn money for my employer dispatch company, faces of those management class went worse and worse. Finally a project quite far away from where I lived granted me a chance. After it was decided that day, I walked from that building to the station, also in rain, also cried voicelessly in tears. It was late November, and I was in suit. Bitter coldness had chilled to my bones.   I felt sinking in deep cold water, drowning in pitfalls, and landing seemed impossible, faraway and so much difficult.

For more than one time, I ask how much bitterness I have to endure before there comes a real change, but I don't know to whom I can ask.
For more than one time, it comes to my edge, and I'm wondering how much can I stand any more.

It seems to me that the rain has never stopped since years before. It seems to me the sky over my head has been gray for years. There seemed to be no way out, there were thorns all around, seamlessly. Little by little, bit by bit, step by step, a narrow outlet to get out with mouth, both hands and feet, from inside the thorns. What a way.

blauelilie

雨中荆棘鸟

感谢这仁慈的雨。要是不下雨，泪水会泄露我不尽的忍耐。现在我可以走在雨中，无声地肆意哭泣。

那一天，我看见一个小女孩陪着她妈妈。她看起来似乎很高兴能外出，声音如此快乐，眼神如此光芒。多少年以前，我一定也曾像她一般。蓦然回首，我竟不知道时光飞逝。

我记得那一天。在履历表上出现了一年空白后，为了从0（如果不是从负值）重新来过，我经历了许多。这一路走来真是不容易。6年前，在投出简历后，我只花了一个月时间就拿到了几份offer，其中一家来自很有名的集团公司。2年前，在一年空白后，我在一个月之内也拿到了一个offer，来自一家5人小公司。然后又花了2个月拿到了2个offer，都来自派遣公司，而这种类型的公司我原本是不想去的。但是，身为女性，年过30，外国人（尤其还是中国人），一年空白期，所有这些似乎都注定我只能当派遣工人了。更糟糕的是，当时zhongri外交关系相当差，这也使我的处境更差了。

由于我的国籍，我被好几个项目拒了。由于我总是派不出去，从而不能给雇用我的派遣公司挣钱，那帮管理层的脸色越来越难看。最后终于有个远得不行的项目愿意赐给我一个机会。那天在定下来后，我一个人从大楼往车站方向走，也是在雨中，无声地哭泣。那是在11月末，我穿着套装。无边的寒冷深入骨髓。我感觉在深深的冷水里下沉，在污水里沉溺，着陆似乎遥不可及、如此艰难。

不止一次，我问在真正的转机出现之前我还得承受多少苦难，但我不知道该问谁。
不止一次，我到了忍耐的边缘，我不知道我还能忍多久。

对于我来说，自从几年前开始，这雨似乎就未曾停过。这几年，我头顶的那一方天空总是灰蒙蒙的。似乎没有出路，周围都是荆棘，没有一丝缝隙。用嘴巴一点一点啄，双手双脚并用，从荆棘丛里边，试图伴着血泪diy出一道窄窄的出口，尽管荆棘刺破皮肤，尽管尖刺插在心上。这是怎样的一段路。



注：几年前人生断了线，那真正是life break，所有一切都out of control，而且所有计划都被打乱。

blauelilie

过几天把中文贴出来（刚开始写是用英文打的草稿，后来就一路写下来了）

btw：荆棘鸟（the thorn birds），取自澳大利亚女作家Colleen McCullough（中文有译作[考琳·麦卡洛]的）著名小说，记不清是高中还是本科看的

洛神香妃

用英文写文章，MM好厉害
有翻译么？单个英语俺认识，连在一块俺就不晓得啥意思了

blauelilie

洛神香妃 发表于 2014-4-30 20:33
用英文写文章，MM好厉害
有翻译么？单个英语俺认识，连在一块俺就不晓得啥意思了

周末翻中文版
抱歉，用英语开头的，然后就这么顺着写下来了    我有时是乘车时写点东西，然后汉字难得写，就写字母，于是就会出现这种情况

洛神香妃

blauelilie 发表于 2014-4-30 20:36
周末翻中文版
抱歉，用英语开头的，然后就这么顺着写下来了    我有时是乘车时写点东西，然后汉字难得写 ...

MM不必说抱歉，应该是俺来说谢谢，谢谢你给俺们带来的耳目一新的作品。

静观致远

就看懂了题名这几个字了（雨中荆棘鸟），看来要去请个翻译了

blauelilie

静观致远 发表于 2014-5-1 07:18
就看懂了题名这几个字了（雨中荆棘鸟），看来要去请个翻译了

周末我自己翻了再贴上来

洛神香妃

静观致远 发表于 2014-5-1 07:18
就看懂了题名这几个字了（雨中荆棘鸟），看来要去请个翻译了

不会吧？那个Thanks to the rain 应该会吧
小静子你业务繁忙，经常出去长见识，应该懂很多英文哦。

阳春雪

blauelilie 发表于 2014-4-30 20:32
过几天把中文贴出来（刚开始写是用英文打的草稿，后来就一路写下来了）

btw：荆棘鸟（the thorn birds） ...

感恩 MM
刚才练了下英语
大学时听电台节目，听过荆棘鸟，很壮丽的鸟儿，具体记得不太清楚了
你说的那本书是不是主角也是传教士？

blauelilie

阳春雪 发表于 2014-5-2 19:18
感恩 MM
刚才练了下英语
大学时听电台节目，听过荆棘鸟，很壮丽的鸟儿，具体记得不太清楚了

是的，我看的那个译版里边译为“拉尔夫”

阳春雪

blauelilie 发表于 2014-5-2 20:06
是的，我看的那个译版里边译为“拉尔夫”

我不记得男主叫什么名字了
以前大学时候想过找来看下，最后不了了之了

老菜头

看個中文版知道內容才好贊喲

blauelilie

老菜头 发表于 2014-5-3 16:38
看個中文版知道內容才好贊喲

争取今天贴上来

老菜头

blauelilie 发表于 2014-5-3 20:15
争取今天贴上来

今日關註

静观致远

blauelilie 发表于 2014-5-1 19:57
周末我自己翻了再贴上来

静观致远

洛神香妃 发表于 2014-5-2 11:13
不会吧？那个Thanks to the rain 应该会吧
小静子你业务繁忙，经常出去长见识，应该懂很多英文哦。

能看懂一点点 了，，这不是想让楼主把翻译过来吗

洛神香妃

静观致远 发表于 2014-5-4 09:18
能看懂一点点 了，，这不是想让楼主把翻译过来吗

你也可以翻译滴，锻炼英文能力哦，哈哈

洛神香妃

blauelilie 发表于 2014-5-4 12:32
雨中荆棘鸟

感谢这仁慈的雨。要是不下雨，泪水会泄露我不尽的忍耐。现在我可以走在雨中，无声地肆意哭泣 ...

雨水过后，阳光依然明媚如初。

洛神香妃

blauelilie 发表于 2014-5-4 12:32
雨中荆棘鸟

感谢这仁慈的雨。要是不下雨，泪水会泄露我不尽的忍耐。现在我可以走在雨中，无声地肆意哭泣 ...

两篇对比着看，还是英文版节奏更强，韵律更美。
但幸好有这中文版，俺们才能完全看懂，谁让俺英文不行呢